Self-esteem provides an important foundation for every child and adult, yet as important as it is, self-esteem is also easily damaged. Children with ADHD and learning disabilities are especially prone to a having a delicate self-esteem.

Parents and other family members can be very influential in developing healthy self-esteem for the ADHD child. First, it helps for the parent to understand what self-esteem is. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. These “self-perceptions” affect our attitude, behavior, emotions, coping skills, and ability to adjust in life. For example, children who have positive thoughts about themselves are typically better at handling obstacles and stress. They are optimistic, resist bad influences, and feel generally happy.

However, kids with low self-esteem have a difficult time solving problems. When a child believes he or she is bad or unworthy, it leads to feelings of anxiety, frustration, and depression. The child with low self-esteem is more likely to give up in the face of temporary setbacks. For instance, when presented with school problems, children with ADHD and low self-esteem are apt to quit the lesson instead of try again.

Self-esteem begins in infancy and can be improved or harmed throughout life. Self-esteem comes from a combination of being capable and being loved. An example of feeling capable is when a child succeeds after trying multiple times to do something, such as learning to ride a bike. In addition to feeling capable, a child needs to feel unconditional love from adults to have good self-esteem.

As a parent, here are some ways you and family members can improve self-esteem in any child, including the ADHD child:

• Be careful about what you say. Your words are powerful, and your child will take them to heart.
• Praise your child for both successes and efforts. Even if the child doesn’t succeed, you can say that you’re proud of the effort put forth.
• Show affection. Give hugs and express your love verbally.
• Always respect your child.
• Involve your child in an activity that illustrates his or her talents.
• Offer praise at least twice as much as criticism.

While it’s best to begin fostering good self-esteem as soon as the child is born, it’s never too late to begin building your child’s self-esteem. If you are parenting an ADHD child or children, don’t be afraid to ask your children how they feel about themselves and their abilities. This would be a great place to begin the self-esteem building process.