The
ADD/ADHD Parent Checklist for a Peaceful Home
You feel like you’ve said it
a thousand times: “Please put the dirty dishes
in the dishwasher,” or, “Please mow the
lawn today.” But no matter how much you threaten
to take away the TV or ground your child for a week,
the dishes remain untouched and the grass keeps on
growing. Power struggles like these can happen in
any home, and are certainly found in homes where one
or more family members are diagnosed with ADHD. To
promote a home environment with more peace, harmony,
and mutual respect, consider this ADD/ADHD parent
checklist:
Set
reasonable rules and consequences for breaking the
rules. Your ADD/ADHD parent checklist should include
clear, fair consequences for your child if he or she
becomes defiant. Similar to an employee handbook,
you may find it very helpful to outline exactly what
your child can expect as far as losing privileges
like TV or computer time, but keep it simple. If you
make the punishments too harsh, you risk humiliating
the child and being unable to enforce the rules you
set forth.
Give
yourself a timeout. You are the key to completing
the ADD/ADHD parent checklist for a peaceful home.
Therefore, it’s up to you to be aware about
your own angry feelings. Before you lose control and
possibly say something you’ll regret later,
tell your child that you need a 10-minute timeout.
Find
a neutral place to talk it out. Schedule regular,
heart-to-heart talks with your child at a place that
will encourage your child to listen and open up. Examples
of talking times might be a park, ice cream parlor,
or while walking the dog. When you complete this part
of the ADD/ADHD parent checklist, make sure that you
tell your child how important he or she is to the
family, and explain how misbehavior hurts other people.
One of the very positive qualities of children with
ADHD is that they are acutely sensitive and understanding
of other people’s feelings.
Give
your child a chance to do it right the next time.
Children often take criticism to heart, especially
when they’ve tried their best to make you happy.
Put room in your ADD/ADHD parent checklist for second
chances. If you do find fault in something your children
have done, show them how you’d like it done
differently; then give them a chance, right away,
to try again.
As
a hardworking parent who wants everything to go well,
it’s very easy to fall into the crime-and-punishment
trap, which means it’s almost too tempting to
scold a child for falling short of expectations. That’s
why assembling your own personal ADD/ADHD parent checklist
provides a great reference for you to fall back on
when you feel frazzled, enabling you to avoid power
struggles and promote peace within the home.
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