You feel like you’ve said it a thousand times: “Please put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher,” or, “Please mow the lawn today.” But no matter how much you threaten to take away the TV or ground your child for a week, the dishes remain untouched and the grass keeps on growing. Power struggles like these can happen in any home, and are certainly found in homes where one or more family members are diagnosed with ADHD. To promote a home environment with more peace, harmony, and mutual respect, consider this ADD/ADHD parent checklist:

Set reasonable rules and consequences for breaking the rules. Your ADD/ADHD parent checklist should include clear, fair consequences for your child if he or she becomes defiant. Similar to an employee handbook, you may find it very helpful to outline exactly what your child can expect as far as losing privileges like TV or computer time, but keep it simple. If you make the punishments too harsh, you risk humiliating the child and being unable to enforce the rules you set forth.

Give yourself a timeout. You are the key to completing the ADD/ADHD parent checklist for a peaceful home. Therefore, it’s up to you to be aware about your own angry feelings. Before you lose control and possibly say something you’ll regret later, tell your child that you need a 10-minute timeout.

Find a neutral place to talk it out. Schedule regular, heart-to-heart talks with your child at a place that will encourage your child to listen and open up. Examples of talking times might be a park, ice cream parlor, or while walking the dog. When you complete this part of the ADD/ADHD parent checklist, make sure that you tell your child how important he or she is to the family, and explain how misbehavior hurts other people. One of the very positive qualities of children with ADHD is that they are acutely sensitive and understanding of other people’s feelings.

Give your child a chance to do it right the next time. Children often take criticism to heart, especially when they’ve tried their best to make you happy. Put room in your ADD/ADHD parent checklist for second chances. If you do find fault in something your children have done, show them how you’d like it done differently; then give them a chance, right away, to try again.

As a hardworking parent who wants everything to go well, it’s very easy to fall into the crime-and-punishment trap, which means it’s almost too tempting to scold a child for falling short of expectations. That’s why assembling your own personal ADD/ADHD parent checklist provides a great reference for you to fall back on when you feel frazzled, enabling you to avoid power struggles and promote peace within the home.